Poolside Confessional

You know, sometimes this world seems to have fallen off its hinges just the least little bit. Aurora called last night to invite me over for a swim. Since Barney and Pea-brained Barbie called from Peru to say they'd be home Monday she thought she'd take a quick run-through of the office and do some deep snooping. Let's just take a moment to wrap out minds around this. She, the housekeeper...invited me, the destitute ex-wife...to my old house for a swim and a look at Barney's personal paperwork. Hum. Well, okay so I went and, in addition to drinking up several bottles of Cristal, we sat by the pool and chatted like regular people. Turns out that back in the day 21-year-old Aurora was a 4.0 student at CalState Fullerton and headed to grad school for an MBA when her father died and her mother fell ill immediately afterward. She quit school to care for her mom. The months spooled out into years and by the time her mother finally passed, Aurora was 37, the family money was about gone, and she had no real work experience, with the exception of caring for a household. Her first temp job turned into the permanent gig with Barney. She's parlayed her money into some deep investments including a beachfront lot in Nicaragua to which she's planning on retiring. Some bitches get all the luck.