My friends used to envy me because I’m kind of OCD organized. I don’t need much sleep and I don’t like to sit still – I get antsy – so I tend to accomplish alot every day. Months ago, my former next-door-neighbor (and former friend now, apparently) said I should blog about being...well, being 'me'. She told me that lots of people make money blogging and, while money was never a problem in my marriage to Barney, there are things a girl likes to keep to herself. Like Botox and vaginal rejuvenation surgery. So that's how MalibuTrophyWife came to be. I didn't make any money, incidentally, but I did get hooked on blogging. It's cheaper than therapy and I get to play with pretty backgrounds.I was born with an incredibly-hard-to-pronounce Armenian last name, but that was Fresno, a long time ago. Whatever. Let’s just say that now I’m your typical kicked-to-the-curb, pushing forty, high-maintenance blond almost-actress who gambled and lost.
Barney. God, what an asshole. While I was floating on the pink-cloud of our upcoming wedding, he slid the pre-nup in like a cocaine-coated suppository. I didn’t even feel it. I had no idea what I was signing, and frankly, I didn’t really give a shit. I actually loved Barney, almost completely, and he seemed to love me. More with the pathetic. If a woman can be a schmuck, then color me schmuck.
Ok, enough with kevetching about the past for today. This post is about the dollar store. Believe it or not, I stepped my last-season's-Prada-clad foot into a dollar store (actually a 99-cent store) for the first time this week.
OMG! I mean, seriously! You can get anything there! From avocados to ashtrays, hammers to houseplants, flip-flops to food! Good thing too, because I was down to $12.87. I got my alimony yesterday, so I'm not going to starve for awhile, but earlier this week it was pretty grim. The fridge had nothing but a half-full carton of cottage cheese, a tomato, the very last of my precious La Prarie Anti-Aging Stress Cream, and a small chunk of turkey. The state of the freezer was even worse - empty, save a few ice cubes and a lone bottle of Stoli. So, in desperation, I decided to explore the dollar store a few blocks from my apartment. Quelle surprise! After roaming the aisles in abject fascination for awhile, I decided on a box of maccaroni-and-white-cheese-sauce (the good kind that's already made up, not the powder stuff), a bag of garlic, and a bunch of asparagus.
At home, I stir-fried the tomato and a couple cloves of garlic with the asparagus, cut into bite-sized chunks. I made up the mac-and-cheese and folded in the cottage cheese and turkey, cubed up, then topped the whole mess with the stir-fried veggies. Voila! Several relatively balanced meals for three bucks and some random refrigerator leavings. I really think I'm getting the hang of leftovers.
Recipes and Household Tips for the Recently Impoverished - Tip # 2
The dollar store. 'Nuf said.